Wacked Up Halo Adventures
by Green Spartan Z
Summary: Since the summary has to be G, i cant write somecertain stuff, so just read it. Hilarious. Pt 2 up. wHAT happens on halo? Oh yeah, plz dont R&R me about grammatic problems.
1. Pillar Of Autumn? What A Wimpy Name

PROLOGUE

Master Chief has arose, and has to reach the bridge of the Pillar of Autumn, in order to help Captain Keyes. Here our story starts.

"Master Chief, Master CHief" cried a marine.

"What soldier." asked Master Chief.

"The fukin' bastard knifed me. The fukin elite knifed me. Oh my god he just shot the plasma rifle at me. Oh my fukin god! Im bleedin. O god help me plz!!!!" screamed the marine in agony.

"Is that all?" sighed Master Chief.

"WHAT THE FUK ARE U TALKIN ABOUT! IS THAT ALL?! IM DYING SLOWLY! What the, what are you doing?!"

"Hey grunt!" said the MC.

"Yes human?" replied a nearby grunt.

"Do you want to be a hero?" asked MC.

"Why yes" said the grunt, and then MC handed him a SMG, and the Grunt shot the marine in the head.

"Thank you" said MC.

"Your Welcome." said the grunt, and then an akward silence followed, and then MC kicked the grunt across the hall, and ran on.

"Marines! Rally to me!!!!" shouted the MC, and the Marines all followed him up to the entrance of the bridge. "Soldiers, this is our day. We must kill every covenant fucker on this ship. Alright men?" asked MC.

"Alright!"

"Now first, we drink heineken."

"but i want pepsi!" wailed a marine.

"shutup Johnson. HEhehehe. Johnson, what a funny, funny name. Anyways, Heineken's for men. pepsi's are for women. now as i was saying, before we enter th bridge, we are gonna party and then we throw the bottles at the enemy. Is that clear!"

"Sir, i need to go do the bathyroom." said the same marine.

"How ironic. Johnson, needs to go to the bathroom. GO SOLDIER. LEAVE MY SIGHT YOU PATHETIC...". MC's voice was interrupted when he heard someone cry. "SOMEONE'S CRYING! NOBODY CRIES ON THIS SHIP! IM GONNA KILL THAT WIMP. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE SOUND IS COMING FROM...THE BRIDGE!" screamed MC and he ran, and to his amazement, he saw Captain Keyes crying.

"MC! Help me. Save me please. Oh god, the covenant are gonna kill me."

"Stupid Commander whatever, just give me damn Cortana so i could rape her...ohhh did i say that out loud?" asked MC. The marines nodded yes. "Shut up. I meant i was gonna save her so giv me the damn disk."

"It's on my fukin bed." said Keyes.

"A BED! WITH BARNEY DESIGNS? YOU DISGUST ME KEYES" screamed MC, as he take a rocket launcher and shootsd it. 

"Uh, MC."

"What soldier."

"You burned Cortana."

"FUCK NO. MY BITCH IS GONE! I said that out loud again right?" asked MC. the marines nodded yea. "Damn. Hey wait, what's that on the coffe table. Its a disk. Let me insert it into my skull." said MC

"Hello MC. Damn you found me. o well. I was looking foward to the afternoon entertainment." said Cortana, smiling out loud. Then she realized that the Marines heard her, and were staring at her. Tjhen she realized, she was nakid. "STUPID PERVERTED BASTARDS. NO ONE SEES ME NAKID, UNLESS YOU GIV ME MONEY. MC, KIK THEIR ASS." screamed tjhe nakid Cortana.

"Might i add that you look wonderful today." said MC, as he shot every marine.

"Thank you." said XCortana. Then they raced for a escape pod. "Hurry up MC. Here, let me motivate you," and then she started prancing around his eyes. "If you make it extra early, ill do something with you in the pod." said Cortana, and MC speedened up.

He ran past 2 drunk hunters who were kissing. "What the hell" thought MC, and he stole their Heineken, and ran the last steps to the escape pod. "Made it" said MC, and he drank the bottles and fell drunk, while the escape pod flew to Halo.

END CHAPTER Authors Notes-So, you've red the first chap, now read the second, unless its not published yet. R&r me. If i get at least 1, and a good comment, ill continue, where in the next one, Master Chief might enter a orgie. Who knows. 


	2. Halo? WTF Is That?

MC was drunk. On an escape pod. Heading towards an unknown planet. And he was dreaming. A wacked out dream. IN his dream, he was prancing around in the meadows, and he started singing the barbie girl song. Then he woke up the instant the escape pod crashlanded. "Oh my god! I was dreaming about barbies?! It's like, a fukin' scene from that queered out movie "The Divine Secrets Of The Yaya Sisterhood", or something like that." exclaimed MC.

"Kid, who you talkin' to" asked Cortana.

"I dunnno." said MC.

"Then get on with it soldier. Go kick some covenant ass, and save marines. And then you have to gather the marines up, and meet at the established base. And then you gotta enter the Truth and Reconciliation, and save Keyes, and then you enter the silent cartographer and then..." said Cortana, but then MC interuppted and said "Shut the fuck up Cortana. The people aren't supposed to know that yet. You're spoiling them. I mean, gosh. They're only up to the beginning of the game, Halo, they should be up to the level 343 guilty spark, where i kick some sentinel ass, and meet the flood." said MC.

"OK. I'll stop talkin. Just hurry up then." said Cortana and they ran to the top of a hilltop. 

"Hey look Cortana. That Marine is getting his ass kicked by one grunt. Aint thAt a funny sight. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." laughed MC.

"Go help hm dumbass. What the, what are you doing?!" asked Cortana.

"I'm killing the aliens." said MC as he started sniping the marines, and they fell, one by one. 

"DUMBASS! Those are the humans." said Cortana hoplessly.

"Ohhhhh. That's why i understand what they're saying. Sorry, my mask is fooged up. Gotta take it off, and wipe it." said MC as he took off his helmet.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! The elites are aiming their plasma pistols at you! run!" scramed cortana. At that instant, MC ran over the place, panicking, because his helmet turned backwards. 

"I CANT SEE. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM GONNA DIE." screamed MC, as he ran straight for the Elites. The elites, who got scared, ran away, but the MC took out his SMG and started firing his gun at every direction. In second, the whole field was cleansed of both marines, and covenant. Then the MC took off his helmet and wiped it, and then put it back on. "Cool. Someone did all the work for me." as he stupidly grinned.

"Damn, why'd i have to pick this kid to join with. Anyway, let's got to the other dropships." said Cortana.

"Already got them. I shot them earlier on with the rocket launchers." grinned MC.

"Ummmmm, ok. Now we go to this place, that seems metallic, in a wart hog." said Cortana.

"I rather ride a banshee and go over to the other side, so i dont encounter any covenent." said MC, as he looked for a banshee.

"I dont think there are any..." said Cortana, and then MC interrupted, "BANSHEE!", and lunged for it, but a couple feet away, a elite was running for it too. When the two got close to the banshee, they both jumped for each other, while taking out a gun, and shooting the opponent, and time slowed down, and you could see every bullet/shot, pierce the air. The elite stupidly aimed down, and destroyed the banshee, which exploded, causing MC to fly all the way to the next checkpoint. Suddenly, on MC's screen, something said "Checkpoint completed"

"Hey, Cortana... What the hell is this?" asked MC.

"I don't know. Must be a glitch or something." replied Cortana. "Anyways, now we move onward a little, and we'll see the base, and we can rest."

"Good." said MC when suddenly, a human jumped out.

"Master Chief, Master CHief" cried a marine.

"What soldier." asked Master Chief.

"The fukin' bastard knifed me. The fukin elite knifed me. Oh my god he just shot the plasma rifle at me. Oh my fukin god! Im bleedin. O god help me plz!!!!" screamed the marine in agony.

"Is that all?" sighed Master Chief.

"WHAT THE FUK ARE U TALKIN ABOUT! IS THAT ALL?! IM DYING SLOWLY! What the, what are you doing?!"

"Hey grunt!" said the MC.

"Yes human?" replied a nearby grunt.

"Do you want to be a hero?" asked MC.

"Why yes" said the grunt, and then MC handed him a SMG, and the Grunt shot the marine in the head.

"Thank you" said MC.

"Your Welcome." said the grunt, and then an akward silence followed, and then MC kicked the grunt across the fielddown a water fall, and ran on.

"As Mc approached the base, he suddenly said "God i need a heineken. Hmmmmm. Where can i find a heineken? Oh yes, Staples! They have EVERYTHING!" said MC retardedly.

"First of all, staples sell work related items, second of all, WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE'LLFIND A STAPLES IN THIS DAMN PLACE?" said Cortana.

"Cortana. Of all the people. You should know that Staples is galaxy wide, and they're always around the right corner." said MC as he walked to his right, and looked. "You see. There it is." said MC, as he walked in. I'd like one heineken plz." said MC.

"That'll be $10.00" said the elite.

"What?! That's a rip-off. What the hell." said MC, as he took out a SMG, and shot him, and ran awaywith the beer.

"Armed robbery, Armed robbery!" screamed a grunt. And then 2 hunters came in with a patch saying C.S.W.A.T.. 

"wHERE HE'D GO?" SAID mc.

"He went in a wart hog."

"Let's hunt that sob down bruther." said one of the hunters. As tjhey walked out, a nuke exploded, and the Staples blew to pieces. In the distance you saw a human laughing crazily, as he entered a building, drunk.

On the Truth and Reconciliation "Whats on television yapyap."said zuka Zamamee.

"NEWS your exellency." said Yapyap.

"let me see it" said the elite.

(TV)  
This just in. A human in green armor just robbed the sTAPLES that's around the corner. He sped off and broke the speed limit. Get this. He shiot the local grunt we know as "hor". Thank god he did, but what he shoudn't have done, blow up the building, with our special hunters force C.S.W.A.T.,. He must be stopped. And that's all the news we have, cause we suck.

(BACK TO REAL LIFE)

"How dare he kill my cousin "hor"! Revenge!" said Zamamee.

END CHAPTER Author's note- Oh well, not my best but oh well. Thanks for the reviews. It really helped how you guys said HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA to me. Still helped though. Oh well. Give me some ideas people. So ican continue. But read on. I got some things planned fur the next chap. Truth and Reconciliation. YEA. R&R 


	3. Truth and Reconciliation My Ass

"Master Chief. Major Silva wants to see you.. without your armer on." said the Marine.

"Never. I know he's gay. Feh, ill never show him my awesome body." said MC.

"Whatever." said the Marine, and left. After a minute of standing and staring into space, he awoke and said "let's go to the Major." and left.

As MC entered the room, someone was coming out, and they hit each other and fell to the ground, the lady on top of MC. "Oh, escuse me." said the lady, as she pushed herself up and walked away. "What a purty lady" thought MC in his mind, when Cortana interrupted "Stop thinkning about dirty thoughts!" and MC walked in.

"Ahhhhh. Well if it isn't the great freak of nature, the spartan." said Silva.

"And if it isn't the gender confused homosexual known as Silva. Hmph. What a girly name." said MC.

"Lets get to the chase MC. As long as you're here, your under my control. And also, i want you to know that you better leave my marines alone, because they can act on themselves. I dont want you to help them okay!" said Silva.

"Sure, whatever." said MC.

"Also, i need you to retrieve the captain from a ship named "Truth and Reconciliation". You will hve to sneak in there slowly and silently, picking off grunts after grunts with a sniper. Then you board the the ship, infiltrate and rescue the captain. And keep in mind! SILENTLY PICKING OFF GRUNTS AND STEALTHILY TOO!" screamed Silva.

"Yes sir." said MC. "Be sure to use a rocket launcher" noted the MC in his brain.

"NOW GO AND GET OUT OF MY OFFICE YOU FREAK."

"And good day to you too, homosexual." said MC under his breath.

"What was that?" but MC had already left.

The Marines along with MC had stationed themselves in the darkness. In minutes, they would attack, but an eager cadet ran in, and then the music started playing, you know, the one where your cover is blown, and you can head in for a frontal assault. Anyway, the stupid Marine could've lived if the MC helped, but his orders was not to help Marines, so o well. Every Marine ran in to battle, while Master Chief sat on the cliff andtook out his launcher slowly. He then threw frag bombs all over the place, and started shooting everyone. In seconds the covenant were dead. The MC then descended to go to the ship. Along with him came a several 20 marines.

They marched all the way to the ship, and they saw the hunters waiting for them.

"Finally. They humans are here bro. Bro?" were the last words of the second hunter, since the MC shot his rockets at them. Okay, now asending. AND THEY WENT INTO THE SHIP.

"Soldiers, lets no take a moment to drink Heineken." said MC as he took out a bottle from inside his rocket launcher. The other soldiers followed and got drunk. "Now let's stumble around blindly into our dooms" said the MC, and they walked up and down. Strangely, the covenant were no where to be seen. When the soldiers regained conscienceness, they heard a chanting. They went to the source, and it turned out all the covenant on the ship was having a party, and captain keyes was in there too!

"Okay, lets flush them out" said MC, and he threw every bomb he had into the crowd. The room exploded. Now let's find the captain. After 30 minutes of searching, a marine said "Sir, he's dead."

"Oh well soldier. He was gonna die anyway." and they left the ship. "Not so fast Human!" said a drunk marine as he started shooting them all. The MC walked yup and smacked him dead. That's when some one cried "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" and the scenery suddenly changed. 

"wHT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" asked MC as he looke at the alive Keyes. He shot him, and Keyes died, but then it replayed again. He sa Keyes again. The MC decided to have some fun with this. He kept shooting him, each time in a diff place to see what would happen. Finall, he decided to quit, and lead Keyes on to a ship, and they went back to earth. The end. Oh no wait. I forgot the best part.

A hunter and his bro were drunk, and they were playimng tag, when they saw this shiny but hot thing. They rushed toward it and they jumped, only to be incinerated, because the stupid retads didn't know it was engines.

END CHapTER Author's notes- This is what happens when my friends stuff stuff down my throat. I'm feeling knida naucious. Peace out. 


	4. Tartarus's Debut

"PREVIOUSLY ON YUGIOH" said Yugi

Seto Kaiba has just become the King of Games...and Ishizu starts falling for him. What happens when they getstuck with each other as roomates in Motel 6...and the ral shocker. Will yugi commit suicide, or will he agree to Marik's conditions of safe sex.

"What the fuck is this?!!!" cried an alarmed hunter. "I thought this was nickelodeon!!!" said the Hunter's bond brother. "Guys, guys. You're watching the wrong channel. This is HBO. Turn to channel 5 alredy." said another hunter...when the other hunter's bond brother said "OH MI GOSH!!! THEY KILLED HOR! and look at what else. They're invading the Silent Cartographer! Lets head there right away so we can kick the shit out of him alright? Good. Lets do it!"

(The scene fades away slowly...and then MC appears and they are landing on an island.)

"Hey Marine!"

"What is it now MC?"

"Why is this place called The Silent Cartographer?"

"Cause the Covenant are stewpid and they felt like it. Now go fuck a.budweisewr."

"First of all...i dont fuck budweisers! onli heineken. Second of all....wrong answer. You die now!!!" and MC smashed the marines head onto the ground. He then made a hole through the back with his hands, took out the spinal cord, and ripped off the head to attach it to the end of the spinal cord. "Now to whip some covenant ass!!!" and he ran off the ship into the covenant...only to gain air by the explosion of a mine. 

"Fuck them..." said MC, as he took out a PS2 controller and muttered the words "Time to add a little GTA San Adreas. "Cortana! Give me the cheat for rocket packs and then give me the hack for getting a scorpion so ican bust this island up!" and then a rocket pack appeared on his back and a Scorpion was on the beach. "Thank u Cortana."

"Your welcome MC." replied Cortana...and they blasted off happily ever after....

Jokes on you. The story doesnt end that way. MC drops down, mans the scorpion and runs over aliens of both race (humanscovenant) The story continues when he tries to get into the control room but is met with closing door.

"Dang! I knew i shouldnt have bought the krazy glue gun from that staples store. Now the doors are stuck togethyer..." said MC as he ran to the Scorpion outside. "You know what?!" said MC. "Im pissed. Cortana...is there a hack code i canuse to skip every level until the 343 guilty spark level so i can start kikin flood ass?"

"Yes and no. If you want to...then i woukld have to create a virus to destroy the firewalls of the Truth and Reconciliation ship, which would allow the Flood easy access to the ship and it would take off and go to other worlds and we will evrentally die ou...or we could just beat the levels. I mean onli 3 or 4 more levels...or would you rather extinction of every living thing?

"Can you fimnd a way at least to skip this level? I mean...this must be the most longest and boringest level."

"Fine...but then the chapter would have to end short."

"Oh fine Cortana. You win. Now ill have to go through this level!" as he mans the Scorpion and then drives to the other side of the beach. 

"Where are the covenant???" asked MC. "There should be guards here!" said MC, but he paid no further attention and went on. He entered the security room, but there were no hunters. What's happening???" asked MC to Cortana. 

"Signs show that they're on vacation. Must be a religious thing eh?" said Cortana.

"Okay. So now this levels a cinch." said MC, and then he ran to the Scorpion and came across a dying soldier.

(Guess whats gonna happin.)

"Master Chief. Please Help." said the soldier.

"Whadda u want?" said MC.

"IVE BEEN STRANDED ON THIS ISLAND FOR 3 DAYS LONG!!!" said the Marine.

"And?"

"I've been raped by a grunt, a jackal, and a elite. And the hunters raped me, pissed on me, and then they gave birth to a baby which had my head but their boy!!!"

"Is that all?"

"IVE BEEN RAPED BY ALIENS!!!! IM A FUKIN FATHER NOW!!!!" said the marine.

"Sigh". there's always one on every level...well except gor the last one. Wondered what happened? thought the Master Chief to himself. "Hey Grunt. You wanna be a hero???" asked Master Chief.

"WHO ARE YOU TALKIN TO?!!!!! thERE'S NO ONE HERE!!!!!!!!"

"Then who are you?"

"Well im a marine."

"Well if there's nothing here... you must die cause you're proving the statement worng.

"So now your my mom???!!!!!"

"No. Im your brother." 

"Stop FUKIN AROUND WITH A DISABLED SOLDIER AND SAVE ME!!!

"What was that? Kill you??? Sure why not?" said MC as he got into his Scorpion. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" were the last words before MC started runing him over.

"Im still alive."

"DAMN YOU MARINE!!!" and MC sliced his head off and input a cheat for a rocket launcher and shot his body.

"Im still alive" said the head.

"DAMN YOU!!! DIE!!!!" said MC and then he took the head andkicked it into the sea where a mermaid took it and said "You'll be mi new dolly's head!!!" and the soldier cried "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Ahhhhhh...now to go to the control room. He got there 10 minutes later..after inputing cheats after cheats for different weaponsfrom GTASA and destroyed most of the island. When he got to the control center...suddenly 4 marines with enormous bodies, a hand attache dto a fuel rod, and spikes coming out from the back were waiting for him.

"Hey alien...i mean human. We are your how do you say in your english language friends or allies. Now fuck us!!!" said the disguised hunter.

"Hey. You cant fool me. First of all...fuck means to reproduce.

"JIGFDSPFYHWNETR981324324455C4VS64GSSEF41SDG64SG64FDG" which were along the lines of "FUCK YOU BINGER! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY WE WANNA BE YOUR FRIENDS!!!! YOU DUMASSS NOW WE ARE SCREWED. GET HIM NOW!!!!" and thenhunters jumped for MC. 

"I thought you were Barney!!! Not hunters...but now that you are exposed ...take hunter repellent!!!" sAID mc and he took out a can and spraed them. The hunters writhed in pain. "Hey. I didnt you were like insect.! This was actually raid." said MC and then he said "Lets play hot potatoe" and took out a frag grenade and threw it at the middle and ran.

It was a classic anime scene. The four hunters had sweat drops and there was a bubble with "..."... and then it exploded. 

"Damn you. We'll never know how to get in now1!!!!!" said cORTANA WHEN A BRUTE CAME OUT OF NO WHERE.

"Hey. I thought you came in the next game."

"Yea but im here to fix the bumps in rpgs. You said that you dont know how to get in... and then i Tartarus come in. If you can snatch the pebble from my hand you may..." said Tartarus as MC showed a pebble in his hands. 

"I win!" said MC as Tarturas opened a porytal and MC jumped in. "THANX!!" said MC and he threw Tarturus a card that said

Dear whomever that just been gyped by me MC,

You've been had by MC. The pebble is still in your hands. I just picked up a pebble from the floor. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH. Bye Bye.

Sincerely, MC

P.S. The arbiter will kik ur ass in Halo 2, so go screw a monkey. oH yea. sILVA wants to see you without your fur on...but if i were you. iwould go dressed.

"DAMN!!!THATS THE 10TH TIME I VE BEEN TRICKED!!!! I GOTTA GET A NEW JOB!!!!" and then tartarus disappeared.

END CHAPTER!  
A/N-SCREWED UP STORYR BUT THE NEXT CHAP WILL BE BETTER I HOPE. GIV ME IDEAS PLZ ON THE NEXT CHAP...ASSAULT ON THE CONTROL ROOM. R&R!!!!!!! 


	5. SPECIAL VALENTINE EDITION!

WACKED UP HALO'S PRODUCERS (ME) PRESENT

WAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR AI GETS PISSE AT YOU AND SENDS YOU A VIRUS WHICH TELEPORTS YIOU TO EVERY FRIGGIN LEVEL OR SCENE OF DIFFERENT MOVIES AND GAMES SO THE CHAPTER GETS FINISHED FASTER BECAUSE YOUR PRODUCERS (ME) ARE CHEAP AND DONT FEEL LIKE WRITING ONLY ABOUT HALO AND ALSO FEEL LIKE MAKING SHORT PARODIES. THIS IS A SPECIAL EDITION VERSION PPL. FEEL SPECIAL...TO THE MAX!

Ahhhhhhh...Snow. I love snow. I like it when i used to piss on snow and use it for a gravel ball and then stuff it up the ass of kids and they would die because my piss was contaminated and the coldness shocked them to eath...

MASTER CHIEF STARRING AS HIMSELF

"Uhhhh...MC? Are you dreaming about snow again?" asked Cortana.

CORTANA STARRING AS HERSELF

"How'd you know! GET OUTTA MY MIND!" screamed MC as he ran around.

STEWPIDLY FUNNILY SCRIPT BY (ME) I HOPE

"Shut up. I am your mind..." muttered Cortana.

"Does that mean im really a guy? Or am i a girl, because i have a woman in my mind? O MI GOD! THERES A LADII IN MI MIND!" screaned MC.

SPONSORED BY VIAGRA "ITS ALL GOOD"

"IM A FRIGGIN AI YOU STEWPID NICOMPOOP!" screamed Cortana, as she reached for her leg, put her hand in, and got out a capsule with the faint words "tylenol".

THIS COULDNT HAVE BEEN POOSSIBLE WITHOUT MI TRUSTY COMPUTER AND SOME GREEN TEA, WHICH THOUGH TASTED LKE CRAP I AM NOW ADDICTED TO

"Okay...can you make up your mind? First your in my mind, then your a woman in my mind, then your a machine in my mnd. And you also called me a guy and a girl at the same time, and right now just a machine and a nincompoop. God. You're such a guirl." sighed MC.

DISCLAIMER:I HAVE LEARNED TO WRITE THIS. I DONT OWN NO SHIT CAUSE THE GOVERNMENT TOOK EVERYHTING AWAY FROM ME WEN THY FOUND OUT I WAS A POWER RANGER. SUCH RACISTS. ILL BE NEXT TO THE QUIKI MART WITH APU dANCING FOR MONEY AND IF YOU SEE ME, SAY HI AND GIV ME MONY. HOMER WILL BE THERE TOO :).

"Damn it. WHY YOU CREATE ME HALSEY! WHY COULDNT IT BE MY OLDER SISTER!WHY ARE AIS STUCK ALIVE FOR 10 YEARS OR SOMETHING! WHY CANT I JUST FALL TO HELL! WHY WAS A CREATD A GUIRL!WHY!" screamed Coretana.

"Okay,...mental note. Ai's think they have feelings, and they are in your mind." noted MC.

"Forget about this. I'm blocking you."

"Wait...i still wanna know how you read my mind." said MC, but an away message popped up on the screen. It read

Dear Master Chief,

I'm hanging out with my buddies and kikin ass in Brute Force. I'm also playing LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

Sincerely, Your mind

"Okay... so i gess im all on my own now." said MC, as he walked into a portal that appeared out of no where." His HUD said "Warning. Your frend Cortana has just sent you a virus and says "YOU STEWPID MOFO! YOU PUT CHEERIOS IN MY CHEESEBURGER! PREPARE TO GET SCREWED UP!"

AND NOW...TOO BEGIN. WE PRESENT YOU

THE JOURNEY AROUND THE GAMING WORLDIN A STORY!

THats THE ONLY TITLE I COULD THINKOF, AND EVEN IT IS CORNY AND COPYRIGHTED...I THINK.

PART 1

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. FUK U CORTANANANANANANANANA" screamed MC. He stepped in a portal, and suddenly appeared in a castle.

"Who's this guy. He seems sexy :)" says a girl.

"Shut up Allis. Your supposed to like the main character. Me. SORA!" said Sora.

"Shuddap. You couldn't even get your moma to like you Sora. I mean. WHO NAMES A BOY SORA.!" screamed a gray haired boy.

"YEA BUT HE HAS a V8GlN4!" said a duck.

"Are you smokin again Daffy?" said Sora. Then the boy ran and took out a key and some cards, and Cloud came out and sliced the duck.  
Everyone in the room started arguing and MC just stood there while Allis just fell asleep."

"FUCK YOU ALL!" screamed MC and he took out a frag grenade and threw it. Everyone exploded. A portal appeared where he jumped in and escaped.

PART 2

"Go POKEBALL!" said a voice. MC opened his eyes, just to see a poke ball being thrown at him.

"What the hell do you take me for kid? said MC as he caught the ball and broke it.

"WHAT KIND OF POKEMON ARE YOU!" said the boy.

"ItS NOT A POKE MON ASH! YOU'RE SUCH A DUMASSS." said the orange head.

"Thats right. But i like your rat there. Mind if i catch him?" said MC.

"Nooooo" said Ash.

"Too bad" and MC threw a frag grenade at the Pikachu.

"How come the ba-" was the last words of Ash. The pokemon world exploded, but MC fell through another door.

PART 3

Where am i now?" thought MC. Suddenly a pink thing jumped out. It opend its mouth and suked him in. "WTF!" said MC as he was spitted out, and the pink thing now looked like a spartans head with rms and legs at the side. "FUKER!" said MC and he started punching the sh;t out of Kirby. But kirby didnt die, so nothing was happening, so MC quit and waited for anotoer portal.

PART 4

"tRUST IN THE fORCE...AND IT WILL GUIDE YOU!" said a deep voice.

"Hey! I know you! You're a fore-runner! The race which created the energy swords! Hey look! It's the light saber, the original energy blade that the covenant based the energy sword on!" said MC.

"I'm not a gfore-runner. I'm a human dipsh;t. Are you my father?" siad a skinny guy qwith blonde hair.

"Yes. Luke, I am your father...now hug me!"

"Hey wait. You aren't Vader!" said the boy.

"No shit sherlock. I mean im taller and biigger in green. Im like your dad times 100." sighed MC.

"No one disses my dad! He was a great man!"

"Puleze. He was a machine. He don't even look good."

"Damn you. Die!" said the boy. He swung the saber at him. The saber automatically blew up and got destroyed. "My arm! It's gone. That was my only good arm left!"

"Hate will lead to anger. Anger leads to suffering. Suffering leads to death. Death leads to hell. Young padawan, you must learn. Too bad you won't have a chance to." said MC, as he took out a plasma pistol and shot him in the head. A portal opened and he jumped in. "Is this "get da green dude" week? damn it im tired.

PART 5

"Tidus!"

"Luna!"

"Cortana!"

"What the f-k?" said a girl.

"Hey! Your on my girl mister!"

"I got a name tidus..."

"Oh sorry. I didn't mean to. You see. I was looking for a portal. Hehehehe. Sorry for kiling your friend here." said MC.

"KILLED?" said the boy. yOU PISS ME OFF. io CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. MY DAD IS SIN. AURON IS A GHOST. AND I SEEM TO BE A DREAM. ENIX SQUARE HAS GOT TO STOP SCREWING UP THESE FF!" said the boy. "Let's fight! One on One"

"Sure." said MC. Suddenly his HUD swirled, and then he saw a menu. "I use plasma rifle!" The shot missed. It was Tidus's turn.

"I SUMMON A DARK CREATURE. DEEP WITHIN THE GATES OF HELL AND DARKNESS. I CALL ON U! AVENGE YOUR FRIEND'S DEATH! IFRIT, FIRE DEMON!" said the boy, and then a fiery demon poopped outm of nowhere. "ATTACK! UNLEASH HELL ON HIM! FIREBALLZ!" said the boy, and then the demon shot 10 balls from the sky.

"Oh sh;t" said MC,and then he threw a fra grenade at Tidus. 

"Hey! Thats not fair. You can't attack during my ataack! Its not fair!"

"Your demon is too slow." said MC in a grin.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", and then Tidus exploded. But the Ifrit remained.

"What do you want!" asked MC. The demon shrugged and then ran to eat MC, when MC stook out a pinky. The Demon rammed into it and got smashed. "Fool.", but then the demon talked.

"I AM IFRIT. NO ONE DISGRACES IHM. TIME TO SHOW MY TRUE SELF AND MY TRUE POWER! I CALL UPON MY REAL POWERS. BAHAMUT AWAKEN!" said the beat. Then a dragon appeared in stead of the Ifrit. It was on fire. "Muwahahahahahahahahahaha. Look at my power mortal human." then the dragon shot a blast tht destoryed half the world. "BRING IT""This is too crazy. I'm leaving" said MNC, and then a portal came up and he jumped in.

"MUWAHAHAHA. Now to destroy the rest of the world." the dragon powered up and was about to shoot when a portal apeared.

"Sorry, forgot my grenade...you can continue destroying this world." said MC quickly, as he got the grenade and ran back.

PART 6

"Say hello to my little freind here!" said a guy.

"Well say hello to my frag grenade."

"HEY! WATCHA DOIN. WAT IS DIS SHAM EH?"

"bb." said MC as he hopped in his portal.

"As i was sayin, welcome to my little fr-" BOOOOOOOM.

PART 7

"I will not let you have princess Zelda!" said a tiny guy in green.

"Shutup ant." said a large MC, and he squashed the guy.

PART 8

"Hey! Are you one of the Goblin's merceneries?" said a guy in red and blue tights swinging on a web.

"No."

"Well...so. How's it like in a flying machine?"

"Dont know. How bout you with those webs?"

"Don't know. Hey. Can i get a ride in that machine? I gotta rescue my aunt."

"You can have my banshee. Here.", and then Spiderman hoped in while MC hopped in a porytal.

"HOW DO YOU FLY THIS TH-"said Spider man, and then he blew up.

PART 9

"Hey Guys! Its Mc my man." said a short blue hedgehog.

"Yo wassup my homie Sonic! And hows the genius. How's your arm knuckles?" said MC.

"Sup MC. Hi MC. Sup dawg. Mi arms fine thank you. Hows your bitch?"

"We broke up."

"Sorry, but since your here, you wanna help me kill eggman. We captured him and we are torturing him, but now we decided to kill him. We'll let you get him." said Knuckles.

"Thanks. Stupid egg-wuss-man." said MC as he took out a frag grenade and set it right in front of him, and shoved another one up his ass. "ONce we get out, i'll explode it. Peace out dude."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" BOOOOOOOOOOM

PART 10

"No. NOt Cedric!" said a voice.

"Fuck you Harry, oh wait. We'll let him live. We'll kill this green guy instead. AVADA KEDRAVA!" said a cold voice. The green jet of light streaked toward MC, buthis energy sheild deflected it and went to Harry, and Harry died. Since harry was bonded to Voldemort, they both died. 

"What just happened?"

"HARRY!"

"wHATEVER. bYE BYE." AND mc JUMPED IN A PROTAL.

PART 11

"Can you hear me now? Good." said MC. "Cortana please cut the crap and stop blocking me. Come on. Let's finish this level. I mean. I'm geting overrun by pikmin here." said MC to his Mobile.

"The phone you have reached is terminated."

"DAMN WHERE YOU AT! THIS COSTS 100 ZENNY A SECOND. DAMNIT."

"Its pointless. The destination you have reached is terminated."

"Come on. The pikmin are bringing me to an onion shaped mach- HOLY SHIT IM GONNA BECOME ONE OF THEM. ITS GONNA EAT ME AND THEN IT S OGNNA TRANSFORM ME INTO PIKMIN. SAVE ME!"

"Your cost right now is 123645 zenny."

"Damn you...there's only one way of reaching her. Taking out her chip. Then she can't upload to anything to get a human form. She'll be deattached. MUWHAHAHAHAHA. YOU HEAR ME! ILL DO IT. MAYBE YOULL BECOME A PIKMIN ALSO. 3 2 1 ZE-"

"yawn That aws nice sleep. What's happening? Why are you mad?"

"You've been asleep this whole time! ill kill you Cortasna. But then where did te portals comfrom?"

"My step sis. Shes like my evil clone. If you want, i can delete her."

"Sure. Why not."

"Done, let's get a portal back to the level.

PART 12

"Snow! YAY" said a happy MC.

"Now to finish this shitty level!"

"Maybe tommorrow. Snow only comes once a year here you know. Im gonna hang out iwth some of the marines and covenat and covince hem to play capture the flag in the snow...without firearms. Just snowballs and snowaxes and anythingwith snow in it."

"ARE YOU CRAZY!"

"Shutup. You got your sleep. Now dont worry. They agreed already. I texted them on my t-mobile sidekick. They alreadyhave a fort. I 'll have one oin a minute. My only men are 10 marines, and 5 allegdly dead spartans against 5 thousand covenants. Seems fair enough. LET THE WAR BEGIN!"

"Oh brother." said Cortana.

END CHAPTER

A/N-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH hi. My name is c3pio, human cyborg relationship system. Just kidding...hehehehee. If you want more chapters like this in the future, tell me in your review, and always remeber. YOU'RE SPECIAL...TOO THE MAX! PEACE OUT AND HAPPY VALENTINE PEOPLE. REMEBER TO SEND ME HUGS AND KISSES IN YOUR REVIEWS. GET YOUR LOVERS GIFTS. C U. 


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